reality

10:13pm: ii dont think i could drive in paris......



when i think about this its so weird
your born in a city and you learn it
why?

10:41pm: energy
i find the times we live in so amazing
i find everything amazing
is that odd?
i love the feeling that after a 12 hour work day you can manifest what you want when you get home; a shower a beer a soft bed and a loving being in it. what do you need more? the last few days of my life have been perfect. i wonder if it is just the influence of having great spiritual and intellectual world leaders in town, the concentration of positive energy that triggered the happenings or was it here all along? is the fact of me knowing that great things are happening just making it all so pleasing, does it help me see beyond the mundane...
i guess having hope for things to come really changes ones outlook
having a person who shows they care makes me want to give my best away
having proof in the positive, great, intelligent people pushes me forward
this time i want this reality to last forever
on the other side of things i see how much i could have changed and did not
how passive, indifferent and hopeless i felt
how much unconsciousness decisions i have made
and i feel a deep void, similar to regret
that i should have done tings differently
it jus feels like the time spent here is too short for "voids" uncertainties and regrets

i go by " no regrets" and i believe i do not regret, i wouldn't be here now...
but this "feeling" reminds me to be aware
always
not to waste "time"


INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R’s:

Respect for self
Respect for others and
Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

10:02pm: i feel so not inspired right now and so full passion and life. i'm angry and calm at the same time.i except and understand the life i live in this moment, then i hate it. i need more.i want it all. i want to be as low as you can on the "food chain" and i want to be superior.i want to give it all away and i want money, babies, a carrier, i want to feel needed sexy and smart while i am silly and clumsy. i want to be in touch with the world, nature and "gods" energy i want to disappear and become everyone but be myself, like a disease i want to spread. i hate unaware people, then i realize i am one of them.i want to dance and be a rock. i want to be everything. i want ultimate love and trivial earthly lust. i want to be free and live alone, have a family to care and love.i am scared of all the beautiful things that surround me.then i feel they are so familiar and calming.
most off all i hate this feeling, but i want it always so it can push me. i want to feel uncomfortable. i want pain.i guess ultimately i want to be "rich",uncomfortable,disturbed, and loved.
what do you want?

11:13pm:


being sober for over 100 days finally pays off when you need to move your hands quickly....
:)

11:12pm: my total lunar eclipse and the duck :)

11:18pm:

12:09am: would you compare life to a sine plot???

11:50pm: lalala!!!
I am excited. Will have 3 gallery showings in Feb.
One will be big....
Feb 23rd 2007 was horrible! i remember....
Feb 23rd 2008 will be scary too, but i know this date will have anniversaries!

11:42pm: nlr

11:50pm: lol ! ! !

11:05pm: gucci 1



(its not a layered composite)

9:11pm: crap
The Dutch anti-piracy outfit B R E I N filed a subpoena against Demonoid’s ISP (Leaseweb) in which they demand that the site will be taken offline. It seems likely that Demonoid’s current downtime is not a hardware problem, they are probably moving to another ISP.

2:39pm: dork
after 8 hrs of picture organizing threw adobe bridge, i get up excited that most is done this morning... and bridge didn't remember my labels....what a fucking disappointment!some are there some are just white (!?!?) and all is a mess....

so back to point A......
I NEED A BEER!

11:41pm: 6hrs later...
i think i have been looking threw too many pictures cause i have so many thoughts going threw my head and they don't make me feel too excited,organized or accomplished at all.

what the fuck happened?

and how the fuck do you de-petrifie a heart?

i don't think it works on stones
maybe in a laboratory?
but a heart?
do you have to know a lot of science?
is the undoing time as long as the doing time?

W T F

12:04am: button should have kept his mouth shut about this one...
the internet and i share the same birthday (1990)
this might explain my unnatural connection to it... :)
Ol' Dirty Bastard died (2004) on my birthday
and Bloody Sunday clashes in central London in 1887.....

5:13pm: someone has too much free time

2:32am: thats fun to watch at 2:30

1:57am: its been raining all day = no money
i saw a bear that was hanging out on a tree for 30hrs next to the sat market
i locked myself out of my bosses apt at 1.3 in the morning and i had to walk threw bear infested city to call him from a bar where they didn't want to let me in since i didn't have my id.... crap





:) tz&p

11:30pm: lightning cont...
I changed the lightning picture from a out of focus piece of shit to 1980's abstract shit...
I conclude I need to shoot more and smoke more...

11:28pm: I can't type


some idiots saw a bear the other night under our balcony and ran towards it...
people are stupid....

11:13pm: wtf...
I have miraculously developed serious ADD in the last 24 hrs...
I can't listen to anything,anyone including myself longer than 1 min... or i just tune out.
And a little bit of short term memory loss caused by not listening fully to anything.
And i know I'm not trapped in my thoughts cause my mind is peacefully silent.

12:25am: Suddenly I have a new appreciation for stop lights
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y33pYz8Pxo

I also feel a strange attraction to the Swedish transvestite.

The skinhead looking guys remind me of past relationships. somehow this weird video made me realize some unresolved crap from the past, how most things are so different than you think/thought/hoped/feared would be. how obviously they present themselves and how regularly they get ignored.

i hate my "job".

ieg esker deg, gosi

2:47am: well
I've been meaning to say this for a while now,
.....in person, Boyd Rice looks like Ace Ventura :)

11:23pm: frekin lightning is pretty cool...if you know how to shoot it :)

whatever...


2 sec later...


roaring fork at the punch bowl


another reason i love my crappy car...


the biggest moth i have ever seen!

6:36pm: i saw so many pretty things today :)
wrrrr!!








nice ass...